November 26, 2005

Illustration Friday - Small


It is a misery
To be the smallest in class

The smallest is always made to sit in the front row
So as to get a clear and unobstructed view of the blackboard
Or rather, so that the teacher can get a clear and unobstructed view of YOU

Even if you arrive extra-early on the first day of school
To ‘reserve’ a much-coveted seat in the second-last row
(Research shows the second-last row tends to be the blind-spot for teachers)
But alas, when the teacher arrives
You will, without fail, be summoned to sit in the front row

Let me tell you the hazards of sitting in the dreaded front row …

You have no place to hide
There is little opportunity to doze off undetected
You need to look perpetually attentive
And nod your head with thoughtful diligence to avoid being called to answer questions

In the days of blackboard and chalk
You will have inhaled enough chalk dust to coat your lungs many times over
No wonder I looked slightly dazed in those class photos
Must have been high on chalk

Besides getting up-close and personal with the teacher’s wrath or unwanted affections
Your face lies in the same latitude with the biggest ass in class
Hence the need to brace the dangers of a bio-chemical gas attack
(Good luck if the teacher loves curry or has a gas-inducing diet)
That’s not all, you also need to duck from spittle
And have a piece of tissue on hand to keep your table dry

Oh, what a misery it is
To be the smallest in class

13 comments :

ratlion said...

lol....really nice concept and illo...and i offer my heartfelt sympathies :)

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha, are you sure the reason of you being small is why you were made to sit in the front row? Well done illustration of 'small'!

Doug said...

nice job... again!

ValGalArt said...

this is hilarious,clever and so well done!

Rowantree said...

Hey, great work and really funny !!

carla said...

I am laughing out loud! I love your diagram and your commentary, but even without them...the picture says it all. Excellent!

Christine Lim Simpson said...

I know what you mean. I like it!

You illo for free is very well done too.

Ginger *:) said...

Your images are delightful. You have the makings for a neat little picture book with the comments about your illustration for "small".

Anonymous said...

I agree with ginger that you should seriously consider compiling some of your art work into a book. Your illustrations and writing compliment each other well. Excellent interpretation of IF's themes.

Always look forward to your new posts :)

nxp

Chuang Shyue Chou said...

You were the smallest and you were the teacher's pet? Heheheh.

Funny piece. Heheheh.

Alina Chau said...

Fun illo!! REminded me of childhood experience.

Anonymous said...

Fun. I like the umbrella.
wynlen

Toyebot said...

Very nice LOL! I sure knew how that felt! Small people unite!