It is a misery
To be the smallest in class
The smallest is always made to sit in the front row
So as to get a clear and unobstructed view of the blackboard
Or rather, so that the teacher can get a clear and unobstructed view of YOU
Even if you arrive extra-early on the first day of school
To ‘reserve’ a much-coveted seat in the second-last row
(Research shows the second-last row tends to be the blind-spot for teachers)
But alas, when the teacher arrives
You will, without fail, be summoned to sit in the front row
Let me tell you the hazards of sitting in the dreaded front row …
You have no place to hide
There is little opportunity to doze off undetected
You need to look perpetually attentive
And nod your head with thoughtful diligence to avoid being called to answer questions
In the days of blackboard and chalk
You will have inhaled enough chalk dust to coat your lungs many times over
No wonder I looked slightly dazed in those class photos
Must have been high on chalk
Besides getting up-close and personal with the teacher’s wrath or unwanted affections
Your face lies in the same latitude with the biggest ass in class
Hence the need to brace the dangers of a bio-chemical gas attack
(Good luck if the teacher loves curry or has a gas-inducing diet)
That’s not all, you also need to duck from spittle
And have a piece of tissue on hand to keep your table dry
Oh, what a misery it is
To be the smallest in class
